The following story is totally about me, for me, and by me. If you don't care for me, you should stop reading abruptly. I originally wanted to tie this into some sort of message for everyone, but since I couldn't find any, I'm just going to write my story about me. So shut up and deal with it.
For the last 4 years I have been attempting to climb my first 5.12. It started on a trip to Red River Gorge with a few of my friends in 2008. After a 7 day climbing trip, I finally felt that my sport skills had progressed to the point where I could send a 5.12. So I picked out a climb in the guidebook and started working. Unfortunately for me I settled on a climb called, "Too Many Puppies." Named after a Primus song and bolted by the famous Porter Jarrard, I feel as if I might have made a mistake.
That first year I chuffed the crap out of that climb, stringing together only 2 bolts on my first attempt. These two bolts being the rest section that now feels like 5.10a/bish. During that first attempt I was so weak, I couldn't even finish the final boulder problem.
Fast-forward another year. I had had a rough winter with school and work, not done much training, but I was psyched to try again. I tired every easy 5.12a in the Red that year with no avail and I finally made it back to Too Many Puppies on the last day of the trip. I decided that this climb wouldn't beat me again no matter what. Well it beat me again. I managed to string a few more clips together, but again the top boulder problem reigned supreme and spat me off the top 6-8 times. If you haven't done this climb before then you should know you have to pull the last boulder problem to make the final clip, which is at your shins. So 6-8 times I took that 30 footer, down down down the route. 5.12, clearly, was still not in my cards. As I finally pulled the move and whimpered my way up to the chains I felt better for finishing the route this time, but it wasn't enough.
It is important to note that I am mostly a trad climber. I don't often climb sport. I really enjoy the trad climbing in the Northeast and don't often work on climbing the difficult sport in the area. I like to climb stuff that scares me and is beautiful. But Too Many Puppies needed to be done.
Year three. Back to the Red again. 5.12 still on the brain. Spring 2010 was a bad few months for Jay. I was working 20+ hours a week, taking a full course load (including my senior project and the hardest of the Computer Science courses at NU) and working 10ish hours a week at Metrorock. I didn't climb for almost 3 weeks before the trip. I hadn't trained all winter. I lost my voice and got sick 2 days before the trip. No matter I was going to send that Fucken climb. I went to KY with one quest in mind 5.12!!!!!!!!!!! I again attempted a few of the 12a's in the Red without success, but I wasn't really after them. I wanted to crush Too Many Puppies. I took a rest day on the day before last. (Honestly I was just to dam sick to climb) I slept at the crag all day and tried no to cough my lungs out of my body. Finally, on the last day, I decided it was now or never. I warmed up and stayed away from Wild Yet Tasty, maybe the easiest 5.12a in the Red. It was likely that I would have sent that, but I didn't care. I needed to climb Too Many Puppies. Just at the other end of the wall loomed the ominous Arete, with its three boulder problems stacked on each other. Too Many Puppies are being shot in the dark. I had to put a stop to this obsession. I tried the climb again. I fell off the second boulder problem, but lowered and went from the start. I made it up to the final bolt before the top boulder problem. There I was just to pumped to continue. I grabbed the draw (Mendongza style) and clipped the rope. This was my best run on the climb to date. I rested and finished the top boulder problem and clipped the chains 1 hanging the route. I was ecstatic, but this still wasn't enough. Too Many Puppies are trained to kill. The trip ended 5.12 still hadn't happened, but worse there were just TOO MANY FUCKEN PUPPIES!!!!!!!
Year: 4 (Last week) Goal: "Too Many Puppies." This year when I got to RRG I had only faced one set back in the last year, for a change. I broke my humorous around Xmas and wasn't able to climb for 3 months. No matter though I still had a month to recover. Finally, the trip came. We stopped in the New for a couple of days, then on to RRG. A good warm up I suppose. We spent the next few days climbing over hung climbs to stay out of the rain. Finally on Thursday the weather cleared up and "Too Many Puppies" was in the forecast. We warmed up at Military Wall then hiked to Left Flank. Jeb hung the draws on "Too Many Puppies" and we began to work the route. Too Many Puppies with guns in their hands. On my final burn of that day I had the bottom two boulder problems wired and made it 90% of the way through the top boulder problem, which I believe to be the redpoint crux. I felt accomplished. The next day I would send this climb!
When the next day came, I was so sore; sitting up in bed was a challenge. No matter back to the project. We dropped the size of our climbing entourage that day to just my car, Jay, Jeb, Shay, and Justin. We spent all morning warming up on the climb to the left of "Too Many Puppies." This climb is a slabby and then overhung 10, called "To Defy the Laws of Tradition," another Primus song. That Porter Jarrard always had great names for his routes. After putting one send attempt down, in which I made it one hold further in the top boulder problem. Then all hell broke loose. I decided to take a nap to wait for the sun to warm the climb. 3 hours later I couldn't even do the bottom boulder problem off the ground. I was so pissed. I ripped my shoes off and threw them in the dirt. My fingers were getting bare from so many attempts on the sharp crimpy holds. I was so mad I could scream… and I did. Too Many Puppies are trained not to bark at the sight of blood that must be spilled, so we may maintain our oil fields.
Jeb then promptly jumped on the route and sent the climb!!!! You would think this would inspire me, but for some reason it sent me for a loop. I became even more discouraged. I wasn't sure if I could ever send this climb. It had bested me so many times. Clearly, just Too Many FUCKEN PUPPIES!!!!!!
That night I got drunk at Miguel's, wallowing in my own sorrows and drinking what I had expected to be my victory beers. I decided to call it a night and passed out early. The next day, I woke up and had to go back to get my draws off Too Many Puppies, so I could climb somewhere else. Shay, with the promise of not having to return to Left Flank ever again after this, came with me. I decided that this was my last chance this season and I would give it one more burn. After warming up, I flew through the bottom two boulder problems without issue or even pump. I felt great. When I got to the only rest on the climb I felt like I was able to get back to about 90%, then I began to fire the top boulder problem. I pulled straight passed the moves that had given me problems in the past. Then I fired the crux move to the right-handed undercling in the ceiling. The end was so near. There was only one puppy (hard move) left to go. I heel hook matched my left hand for balance on the arete and fired my left hand for the jug on the ceiling and as I did my heel popped. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……. FUCK!!!!!!!! I screamed as I fell the 30 feet to the end of the rope. So close. So close…. SO CLOSE. I was ready to pull back up the climb, do the top, and take my draws when Shay convinced me to try one final time. She had been at the bottom of that climb taking pictures and belaying for me for 3 days. I owed her one final go. So I lowered, rested for about 10 minutes and went again. Same result, I fired through the bottom crux and up to the rest. I felt like I was able to get back to about 90% again. Then I began to fire the top boulder problem this time I acquired the undercling on the ceiling with a little more ease. I then jammed the crap out of my heel onto the crimp rail to match my left hand. Then up into the ceiling, as my fingers closed around the jug… I knew it was over. I brought my feet back under me pulled to the final jug and clipped the shunts!!!!!! FUCK YA!!!!! I screamed as I let go of the final jug and hung on the anchors. Too Many Puppies are just like me!
Overall I wouldn’t have traded the work or experience for anything.
There were Good Attempts:
There were Bad Attempts:
And at least one Funny Attempt:
Too Many Puppies was my climbing grail for many years and my motivation to break into the next level. 4 years of trying and failing, a quest I never want to be on again, and my first 5.12, finally, done. Watch out Red River Gorge. You are now in my sights. Now there are no longer "Too Many Puppies" just to many classic 12's in the Red to be climbed in a lifetime.
congrats jay! Being there for 2/4 years - I know how hard you worked at that one.
ReplyDeleteyay!