Crag Dog or Demon?

Take a look world, this is the world's worst crag dog...

This is Finlay, my dog, yes that's a climbing rope in her mouth and yes it's her favorite toy. I understand that some people have dogs that  they can bring out to the crag and hang out, be cute and not bother anyone. Well I'm not one of those people!! And my dog is not that dog! Yes she looks adorable, but make no mistake, Finlay is the one you hear in the distance barking while you're trying to pull the crux move on your project. You would be in the perfect mind set to make that move but my dog's dagger-like personal rants are piercing your brain making it impossible to focus. Why is she barking? Because her tree limb that she calls a throwing stick "happened" to roll past the point that her leash will allow (and when I say "happened" I mean she pushed it out of her reach to get the attention she wants).

Why is she leashed and not free to gallop in the woods like antelope roaming in the open plains? Three reasons:

1. She will take the tree limb and drop it at your feet over and over and over again until you throw it. If you're bouldering, she'll drop it on your landing zone, while you're trying to top out. There's nothing better than hearing, "Whoa! Finlay no, get that out of there!!" while your legs are shaking pulling the lip on Ride the Lightning.
2. She will find the nearest body of water, whether it is a 1 ft deep stagnant puddle 100yds away or a gushing river a mile away. Either way, she will come back up to 3 hours later covered in water, mud, and debris. And my time is spent yelling and hollering trying to find her during that time which as you can imagine, goes over well with the native climbers and my nerves. The look on her face when she decides to come back is similar to that of an out of breath slightly overweight adolescent that ran inside to tell his family that he found what he thinks is a dinosaur egg in his sandbox (which turns out to be the concrete drainage pipe)...I was so excited.
3. If there is another dog anywhere in the vicinity, she will pick a fight with it. No lie, my dog is an asshole! She is awesome with people and I love her to death but the whole alpha female thing goes haywire at the site of a dog she doesn't know. If there were a market for Mexican Dog fights at climbing crags I would make a fortune!

I guess this is to educate those people who have dogs like mine. Please do not lead yourself to believe that your dog is awesome at the crag. If it shares ANY of the prior characteristics leave him/her/it at home and save everyone the frustration. Don't get me wrong, I love my dog and could not live without her...when I'm not climbing, but she makes climbing trips seem like punishments set on by the same parents that led you to believe that your "discovery" was a dinosaur egg...for a whole week! I'm still bitter, sorry. Anywho, if you see my dog out at the crag, I apologize ahead of time, I had no choice. And keep in mind, these are the eyes of a crag killer...

I love you Finlay...